First Stop on the Way to Leadville: Vegas Baby!

A Rock n Roll Marathon event would not usually be on my radar. Several years ago, their contract with the city of San Antonio prevented other half marathons or marathons from taking place in the city within a timeframe around their race, which shut down multiple local events. When that happened, I said I'd never do another Rock n Roll event. On top of that, I'm training for a trail running series this summer, so there was no need to do a road race. I guess if you're going to compromise your principles, Las Vegas is the place to do it.

A flurry of peer pressure and discounted race entry fees last December led Orissa, Shelly and I to meeting up for a much needed girls weekend in Las Vegas for the half marathon at the end of February. Bonus: it was Shelly's birthday weekend! After a brief moment of panic when Shelly texted NINE HOURS before their flight was scheduled to depart that it had been cancelled (thanks American Airlines), Orissa and Shelly figured out a solution and we all arrived in Las Vegas on Saturday around lunch time.

We checked in at the Aria and headed over to the expo, checking out some delicious dining and enjoying some day drinking on the way. It was disconcerting at first to find that Las Vegas was just as crowded as ever, pandemic or no pandemic, but we quickly got used to all the people around us. I also didn't realize that they still allow smoking in casinos -- yes, you can describe me as an aggressive nonsmoker who can sniff out the smell of smoking from a mile away (more about this later).

We purchased some snacks in the store downstairs so that we could avoid any temptation from the minibar and returned to our room. We settled in, drinking wine and cosmopolitans while we admired the view of the Strip. Orissa and I had a hilarious moment when we tried to rearrange the unrefrigerated portion of the minibar. Above the refrigerator was a large decorative display with Fiji water and bags of cashews and other snacks. We tried to lift the display box up to move it out of our line of sight, only to find that it was connected with wires to the rest of the cabinet. Shelly warned that even if you so much as touch items on the minibar you can be charged for them! So we put the bottles and snacks back where we'd found them and hoped that we weren't going to get in any trouble.

Pre-race fueling

By this time it was 6:30 pm and I'm embarrassed to say that we were all ready to go to sleep. We forced ourselves to get up and go to see some sights. The Bellagio fountain and conservatory were just as beautiful as ever and Caesar's Palace was lovely even though we were politely discouraged from being seated at one restaurant for looking like we couldn't afford to eat there. 

The next morning we got up and spent a full day shopping, dining, and sightseeing. The race didn't start until 4:30 pm, so we had plenty of time to spare. We even got to see the Van Gogh Immersive Experience and all three of us were grateful to get to sit down on the floor for the 35 minute show -- our feet were already tired! As we walked back to our room to get dressed for the race, we congratulated ourselves on how well we had planned. We had about an hour to put our feet up before heading over to the start line.

It took one second after walking into the room for me to shriek, "WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE WEED IN HERE??" Gross, it was probably coming through the air vents from another room. Moments later, Orissa exclaimed, "WHERE ARE THE CASHEWS!?" The large bag of cashews from the end of the mini bar display was gone. Immediately we surmised that someone had stepped into our room for a smoke break and helped themselves to a snack when the munchies kicked in. We checked the rest of the room and found nothing amiss, then called down to the front desk to report the break-in. We were nonchalantly told that someone from security would come up and take a report. The security person did not appear and we found it more important to get to the start line in time than to wait for them.

Arriving at the Start Village, we were late for my corral. The start area was somewhat chaotic because there were waves but they were based on no particular criteria. My wave was one of the first and Shelly's was dead last -- she had signed up late -- and there was an hour between the two start times! Our friend Q was also running the half marathon and had left the corral at her designated time. She texted me to say that they weren't checking bibs and to just go with the next group because there would be another mile to walk before the actual start of the race. What? Orissa and I talked Shelly into jumping the line and we nervously squeaked through the gate and into the chute to start. Then, as Q had said, we walked a mile to the start. Weird. I don't remember ever starting a large race without pace groups or corrals based on time.

The Strip looking ghostly as it was cleared for runners.

As we started the race, our conversation was drowned out by loud music and an energetic race announcer dressed like Britney Spears from the "Baby One More Time" video. Shelly, Orissa, and I wished each other well. My instructions from Nell were to start at a 9:30 pace and work my way down from there in the second half of the race if I was feeling good. I hoped for any time under 2:10, which would be an improvement over the last half marathon I'd run in August. Shelly and Orissa, who have not been running much distance at all lately, decided to aim for anything under 2:30 and hope for the best. 

As I ran the first three miles from Planet Hollywood towards Mandalay Bay and out of town, the sun was going down and I tried to run at 9:30 or slower to conserve energy for the second half. It didn't feel as easy to run 9:30 as it has on recent training runs, and I wondered vaguely if I was just too tired from all the training I've been doing. Then I reached mile 3 and the course turnaround. We had been running uphill! Suddenly I had to really work to slow myself down. I remembered that the old Las Vegas Marathon used to start in the desert and finish on the Strip and that it had a net downhill course. That meant we would run slightly downhill until the next turnaround, then run approximately the last 3 miles back up to the finish. 

It was awesome to have the Strip blocked off for only foot traffic. However because of the weird start, I was constantly running around people for the entire race and could never get a rhythm going. I felt the energy to pick up my pace at mile 7, but that's also the point in the race where you run onto the less populated part of the Strip. The sun had set and it was really dark outside! Without the bright lights of the casinos, the road was difficult to see and I had to step carefully to make sure each footstep was solid. As I ran past the wedding chapels, discount liquor stores, and cannabis shops, I felt myself losing momentum. At the aid station at mile 10, I felt tired. I took my last gel and willed myself to hold the pace to the finish. On the out-and-back section somewhere between miles 10 and 13, I heard Shelly and Orissa screaming from the other side and I was happy to know that they were running together.

Finally, the finish line appeared! I ran across in 2:06, feeling super stoked to reach my goal. I smiled and soaked it in. The only other finish lines I've crossed in the dark were at Ironman races, and that plus the loud music and bright lights of Vegas made it feel so festive. Another woman nearby was clearly enjoying the moment as she took a selfie right at the finish line! I laughed and then took a second look - it was Q! We couldn't have timed it better.

Q was just minding her business taking a selfie.

Photobomb! Q is like, who is this ridiculous woman ruining my shot?

Hahahahahahaha!

Q and I waited for Shelly and Orissa to cross the line - they made it in 2:29! Goals had been met all around. We went out for pizza and girly drinks to celebrate. It was so much fun to catch up with Q, who we haven't seen since she moved to Las Vegas a few years ago. We talked about San Antonio and and how hard the Wednesday night workouts at Dawn's house used to be when we were all training for triathlons together.

When Shelly, Orissa, and I returned to our room, we were happy to note that it didn't smell of pot anymore. We got cleaned up and examined our feet for damage (Orissa's was extensive - she had a broken toenail, Shelly had a couple of bruised toes, and my feet were freakishly fine). We called down to find out the latest on our dramatic break-in situation and hotel security had no record of our call down earlier in the day. We made enough of a fuss that a representative from security came up to take our statement, but he didn't seem too concerned. He said they'd find out who had swiped into our room and let us know. We still don't know, but the hotel didn't charge us for anything in the minibar and as an "act of goodwill," they didn't make us pay the "resort fee," whatever that is. 

The next day we had a lovely shakeout swim in the hotel pool followed by a delicious brunch with a server who was so entertaining and attentive that Shelly left her a thank you note. As the three of us sat in the airport waiting for our flights, we exclaimed about how wonderful the trip had been. Orissa commented that it couldn't possibly have gone better, which made me laugh. Their flight had been cancelled and our hotel room had been used as a pot smoker's break room. But we had such a good time that it cancelled out these minor inconveniences. 

I can definitely recommend the Rock n Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon and I really do hope to be back again next year. Shelly, what do you think about making this an annual birthday celebration trip? 

From Little Rock to Leadville: Wait, What? Little Rock?

Am I the only one who feels like the events of the last couple of years have eaten away at my brain? It's not just that I haven't been able to focus at work - I've been unable to will myself to write for fun, and that sort of scares me. It's been a while since I've posted here with any regularity. My goal is to be back on a roll now because I actually have something to write about: my journey to and through the Lead Challenge in Leadville, Colorado, this summer.

But first, let's catch up. I live in Little Rock, Arkansas! What? It's been a long and winding road, to say the least. Less than a year ago, I was living and working in Lafayette, Colorado, where I've been for the last five years, and Trent was living and working in Kansas City, Missouri. Of course our goal was to be together...but where? And how? Once we stopped focusing on the "where," the "how" became easy. We eloped in Golden, Colorado, on September 4, 2021. 

We made it official. 😍

It was a beautiful, perfect day, but at the end of that weekend, he drove back to Kansas City. I guess there's something about being married (eeee!) that made me just want to be with my husband (eeee!!) more than ever, so a couple of months later, I packed up my stuff and my cat and we drove to Missouri. I love Colorado, but I love Trent more, so I got my head wrapped around the idea of being a Midwesterner (hmmm). 

Of course, life does what it does, and within a month or so, Trent was presented with an un-pass-uppable job opportunity in Little Rock. So... yada yada yada... here we are. And so far, so good (I've been here a little less than a week). I've found an awesome Masters group to swim with and I've got some really beautiful places to run and ride. When we moved to Denver five years ago, I was expecting all these things. Finding them in Little Rock has been an incredible, wonderful surprise. They call Arkansas the Natural State for a reason. It's gorgeous here. We even have a mini mountain near our house.

In the middle of all of this change, I signed up for and got into the Lead Challenge (eeeeeeee!!!!). I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say Leadville is my favorite place in the world. I've done an event or two there every summer for the last few years, so signing up for the Lead Challenge doesn't feel too far out of left field. Bonus: now that I'm no longer living in Colorado, participating in the Leadville series of races forces me to spend most of my summer there. 😀

What is the Lead Challenge? It's basically all of the races in Leadville: the marathon in June, the Silver Rush 50 mile run in July, the Leadville 100 mountain bike race and the 10K run the following day in early August, and the Leadville 100 mile run a week later. 

How unrealistic a goal is this? I've started all of the running races before and I've finished the marathon and the 10K within the time cuts. I was 8 minutes too late to the finish line at the Silver Rush in 2018 to be considered an official finisher, so I have that goal looming ahead of me. I DNFed my previous attempt at the 100 Run at mile 40 in Twin Lakes after missing the time cut at the 31-mile mark. Also I've never done a mountain bike race before. In case it wasn't clear, I'm saying that I have my work cut out for me. However, I fully believe that I'm capable of completing the whole thing, even the 100 Mile Run at the end of the series.

It really stung to be eight minutes late to this line.

So here we are in February. The first race is in June. I have a new pair of trail shoes and a new mountain bike. I've joined a strong team of women who #setgoalssmashgoals and I'm so happy to have their inspiration to draw from. I'll have my nutrition nailed down with Tailwind. I've got the support of my husband who luckily also loves riding mountain bikes, although running is no longer his cup of tea. And, of course, I have my amazing coach, Nell Rojas, who has coached other middle aged, female runners and cyclists to the finish lines in Leadville. She coached me through my first Leadville journey and I'm really excited to have her coaching me virtually for this one. And I'm even lucky enough to have awesome friends who are doing many of the races too!

It's a good time to have a big goal -  I'm coming out of the pandemic haze of "training for life" (that got boring) and now I'm training for real with something to train for. I feel like myself again. Join me on the journey, either virtually by reading about it here, or in person at 10,000 feet this summer - there are still slots available for several of the races.

Thanks for reading and happy trails!

Training for Life

For as long as I can remember, when someone asks me what race I'm training for, my standard response is to reply with the name of the race and then comment, "if I don't have something on my calendar to train for, I won't exercise at all." I always had an event on the horizon to train towards: triathlons in the summer, marathons in the fall and winter. When the pandemic hit last March, I was training for Ironman St. George.

Along with the uncertainty that came in the late weeks of February and early weeks of March 2020, I was also reaching the biggest weeks of training for the race. I remember that on one day, I did a 4000 yard race prep swim feeling so excited about how strong my swim would be at the race. Only to find that two days later when I went back to the rec center for my next swim, the door was locked with a handwritten sign: "Closed until further notice." I didn't swim again until June.

I remember messaging my coach and telling her, "I know I had a 75-mile bike ride on my plan but I just couldn't bring myself to do it," after bailing out of a long ride early in March. "That's okay," she responded, "Nobody is motivated to do anything right now." I went from hoping the race would still take place to hoping that it would be cancelled. When we finally got the news that it would indeed be cancelled, I was relieved to have it off the calendar.

As you all know by now, of course, every single event last year was cancelled. This was a small impact on the scale of what else was happening in the world, but for me, it was probably the hardest thing to wrap my head around.

Now what? What would I do, given my standard statement that I wouldn't train at all without something to train for? 

Well, I started to just do whatever I wanted to each day. I ran most mornings on the less busy creek paths so that I could stay away from people and avoid having to pull a mask up and down. I took my bike out by myself for meandering rides with no intervals, no heart rate goals, no purpose except to be outside. I'd spent the last couple of years moving away from cycling, building up my running instead, but during the pandemic the opposite happened. Being on the bike was the one way to get around and see things -- I felt like I must have felt as a child on a bike -- it was transportation, it was freedom, it was a way to get away from my small apartment for a while.

Trent got back into cycling too -- the golf courses were closed -- so we started planning our weekend trips around riding in either Colorado or Kansas/Missouri. We rode up Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park. We rode around the Copper Triangle. We rode up and down the Katy Trail across the state of Missouri. We found cycling again and we became closer together because of it, and because of that, I'm so grateful. (We also own five more bikes than we had at this time last year, but that's another post.)

Trail Ridge Road

When the pool at my apartment complex reopened in June 2020, I bounded back into the water, grateful for every stroke. I was so happy to feel the cool water rushing over my skin and for the calm peacefulness that only comes with being submerged in the water, the only place that I have the ability to remove everything from my mind except the laps that I'm counting. It was pure joy to be back in the water.

By mid-September, even though I loved working with a triathlon/running coach, I had decided instead to use that money towards mental health, and I started talking weekly with a counselor. In one of our conversations, Elizabeth said to me, "exercise is like breathing for you," and I've held onto that phrase. I think it's just a perfect way to put it. Physical movement really is the only thing that centers me and puts me in the frame of mind that I need and want to be in.

I remember years ago, Dawn would say that her goal was to be in shape to build up to do an Ironman within a few weeks' notice, and I was in awe of what that meant. Why would anyone do that much training for no reason? Well, with nothing at all to train for except the love of the sport, I found myself swimming, biking, and running every day of the week, doing double workouts and enjoying them all. Partly it was because I didn't have anything else to do. But mostly, being able to remove the pressure of having a particular race goal allowed me to just enjoy the training. 

A stress fracture in January prevented me from running, which gave me more time to ride my bike. Not surprisingly, as soon as they were available, I signed up for several gravel bike races: the Old Man Winter Rally in February, the Pony Xpress in Trinidad in May, the Mad Gravel sprint race a week later, CO2UT a week after that. I was happy but not too surprised to learn that by biking more, even with only unstructured training, my strength on the bike and my handling skills have improved. 

Old Man Winter Rally, mud and all

CO2UT was excellent - Put this one on your list for next year!

I'd signed up for the Leadville Marathon for June 2020 and had it deferred to this year, and I didn't want to miss out. I love that race, but was skeptical about how it would go. On only bike training plus about a month of running, was it really wise to try to complete the full distance at this race? Should I drop to the half? I decided to go for it and do the full, thinking the worst thing that could happen is that I'd end up finishing late in the day and miss the time cuts. I completely surprised myself by not only finishing within the allotted time, but also getting a course PR - I was five minutes faster than when I'd actually trained for the race three years ago. Who knew.

The views in Leadville will keep me coming back year after year.

I don’t think I’ll lose the joy of training just because racing is back. At least I hope I won’t. When I was in college, one of the requirements for a degree was to finish a "lifetime fitness" course, meaning a sport you could continue to enjoy over your lifetime, not high school team sports like football or volleyball. I picked ballroom dancing - I'm giggling as I recall that class. I'm probably the only person in the history of Trinity University who didn't take it as pass/fail, and who only achieved a B in ballroom dancing. I haven't ballroom danced a step in my life since I graduated. But I'm swimming, biking, and running every day, and I couldn't be more grateful.

This weekend's Opal Wapoo Gravel Experience in Excelsior Springs, MO, was the latest top notch gravel adventure.

Do Not Mansplain My Bike to Me

Last weekend I participated in my first race in over a year, my first real bike race in at least four years. It was amazing. I felt so strong; all the riding I've been doing since January paid off. I finished the 85k Pony Xpress gravel race as 8th overall female and 2nd in my age group. I raced happy like I always do, feeling the wind on my face and smelling the fresh piney air of the course in Trinidad, CO; taking in the beauty of my surroundings and smiling all the way to the finish line. I paced myself well and finished the second half of the race stronger than the first. The big mountains looked beautiful in the distance and I took a million mental pictures as I raced happily, feeling so much joy. 

I could stop there with that mini race report, but I'm not going to. This race was different because I raced a little bit angry, too, because of an interaction that took place right before the race started.

Before the race, I took my bike for a spin to run through the gears. I had done this already the night before and the bike was fine, but I took advantage of some extra time to get a warmup in and make sure the bike was still in good working order. Guess what - it wasn't. I couldn't get the front derailleur to shift up into the big ring consistently. As I rode around the parking lot testing it, it worked about 40% of the time.

I went to the tent at the start line and asked if there was a mechanic available. "What's going on young lady?" asked a friendly older man. I told him that I couldn't shift into the big ring and wondered if he could help me out. He looked at me and then looked at my bike, and then launched into mansplaining to me what cross-chaining is, and how that was a big no-no in cycling. That's why my front derailleur wouldn't shift into the big ring, he explained. He smiled at me kindly. 

"Of course I know what cross-chaining is, and that's not it," I replied confidently. "Another bike accidentally bumped my derailleur this morning and must have caused the problem. I've tried all the troubleshooting that I know, but I don't know how to adjust a front derailleur. Can you help me?"

Just kidding. That's not what I said. I immediately gave up. With wide open, grateful eyes, I beamed a huge smile at him and thanked him for explaining cross-chaining to me. He patted me on the shoulder and said to me, "by the way, that's actually a really nice bike that you have." I thanked him for that, too, although I was thinking to myself, yes, I know it's a really nice bike. I can tell you think I don't know what it is, but I picked out the frame and chose all the parts myself after doing a lot of research, sir. I smiled again and walked away.

I raced using the front derailleur only when I needed to, worried that my shifting might fail at any time, and stayed in the big ring as much as possible in case it did get stuck there. I felt furious and minimized as well as complicit in my own minimization. I'll show him, I thought, as I allowed anger to help propel me through the race. I know how to ride a bike. I know how to race a bike.

After the race, as I joyfully described the day and my accomplishment to Trent, I finished by complaining to him about the interaction before the race. "Please don't tell me that you thanked him," Trent guessed. He knew what I was going to say. Yes, I did. Uggh.

The next day I brought my bike to the Trek shop in Boulder where the mechanics listened to me as I described the shifting issue. I also provided an incredibly poor explanation of a creaking sound that has been getting worse every ride. They listened thoughtfully, took my bike and said they'd troubleshoot it, and sent me on my way. Two days later, I got a call from Patrick at the Trek shop providing a detailed explanation about what he'd done to troubleshoot the issues. He told my voicemail that my bike was ready.

When I walked into the shop, I was greeted with courtesy and respect. As one employee went to locate my bike, Patrick the mechanic came up to the front desk and asked if I'd heard his phone message. He went again through the details of what he did with my bike and told me that the gears were running great and that he couldn't hear a creak. He and the other Trek shop employees talked to me like a cyclist - not a female cyclist. Not a Boulder-chubby cyclist. A cyclist. That's why I'll be buying my next bike from the Boulder Trek shop.

The experience at the Trek shop was so different from my experience on last weekend's race morning. Just being treated like a knowledgeable equal means so much to me. I just feel this overwhelming need to thank the guys at Trek for taking me seriously. And a big, serious thank you to the guys at Bicycle Heaven in San Antonio for all the years before that, for treating me like an athlete and doing everything they could to support me. I want to thank Trent for knowing that I shouldn't have said "thank you" to a mansplaining man who, whether he meant to or not, was minimizing me when he shouldn't have.

Maybe it's the pandemic that has shed some light for me on what's important. Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's the thoughtful conversations I've had with a counselor over the past year about what it means to be a feminist. Maybe it's being engaged to a man who not only hears, but listens to what I have to say, who understands that he can do better and is willing to try. He's truly an ally for the women and people of color who he works with, and he is not just playing the role of a white male savior. I'm so proud. Maybe it's just that the world happens to be changing right now and it happens to be the right time. Whatever it is, I'm done being complicit in my own minimization. I'm forcing myself to change, as uncomfortable as it may be. So watch out. 😬

I Am Not an Injured Runner

January 6, 2021, is a date that all Americans will remember whether they want to or not. I couldn't step away from the news long enough to go for a four mile run - I loaded up NPR on my phone and jogged around my usual lunch loop while I listened in fascinated horror to the descriptions coming out of the US Capitol. About three miles in, my left foot started to hurt, the pain increasing with every step. Like any reasonable runner, I decided to finish my run and investigate the foot pain later. 

I'll always remember January 6, 2021, as the day that I ran my way into my first (and hopefully only) stress fracture. It's the first injury I've had in 20+ years of running that prevented me from running for nearly three months. Like, I had to completely stop running or even walking. At first I didn't know what to do with myself.

My physical therapist couldn't differentiate between a fracture and a strained tendon at first, and because the pain came on quickly without any increase in speed or volume, we went more hopefully with the tendon hypothesis. For those first three weeks, I was cleared to swim without pushing off the wall and bike without standing on the pedals. 

After three weeks of no progress, I gave up and got an x-ray of my left foot and saw the break in my third metatarsal. I was referred to an extremely cautious podiatrist who had me walking around in a surgical shoe for five weeks and only cleared me to swim, not bike. I had a couple of cycling events coming up, so I rationalized that as long as I biked "easy" without standing on the pedals, I could still participate in these events. When I went back for a check-in after three weeks and the podiatrist exclaimed over how well my foot was healing, I took it as a green light to ride my bike as much as I wanted.

So I did! I continued to train for St. George 70.3, my only scheduled triathlon this year, which is taking place in May. Because I couldn't run or even walk, I bumped up my training volume in both swimming and cycling. (I've decided to defer the St. George race because I don't want to risk re-injuring my foot by even walking the run.)

I biked on Zwift, I rode outdoors on road and gravel. My late discovery of Zwift really contributed a lot to the increase in cycling. It's just so fun to join the challenges and to get on the bike and ride "with" a couple of friends after a stressful workday. There were days when the weather was so nice that I'd ride outdoors at lunch and then hop on Zwift to join Orissa for an evening ride. You can guess that one of two things happened - I developed some extraordinary new strength on the bike OR I rebroke my foot because I didn't follow the rules. 

Zwifting with Orissa on Tuesdays is my favorite!

Luckily, the first answer is the correct one - I have become so much stronger on the bike that I keep looking around to see where the tailwind is coming from. I'm in Kansas City this weekend for Trent's birthday, and yesterday we took advantage of the sunny day to ride the remaining portion of the Katy Trail that I haven't been on yet - the Rock Island Spur. It's 47.5 miles from the start in Pleasant Hill to the point that it meets up with the Katy Trail in Windsor, MO. 

Feeling happy and matchy matchy on yesterday's ride.

We rode the Spur out and back - 95 miles on gravel. I felt strong and kept up with Trent and enjoyed the day. As we sat for lunch at Sonic at the turnaround point, Trent remarked about how much my cycling has improved. "I've been doing nothing but riding a bike for three months," I told him. "It shows," he said. I beamed with pride. I know we're supposed to be equals in a relationship and everything but I look up to Trent in all things cycling, and to be praised by him for how well I'm riding is like food for my soul. 

Sonic lunch gave us strength for the ride back.

It turns out that being a stronger cyclist means that I can ride with Trent at the end of a long ride and even take some pulls, instead of dragging behind him wishing that it was over. He praised me again towards the end of the ride, and I shrugged proudly and said, "I guess that's what happens when you're not tired from running all the time." He nodded and smiled as if to say, "DUH," but then out loud he said, "well, I think you've found your sport."

That's what I woke up thinking about this morning. I'm now cleared to walk, then walk-run, then run...but all I want to do is ride my bike. I'm not an injured runner - I'm a cyclist. 

This bike, y'all. 😍

Zwift: Where Have You Been All My Life?

I started working with a coach in 2010 and shortly after that I bought an indoor trainer for my bike. It would be great for intervals, strength training, and workouts that required hitting certain heart rate zones and later, watts. It was an essential, invaluable tool for becoming the triathlete that I wanted to be.

Except that I hated riding on it.

I hated riding on the trainer so much that I basically only used it if it was too dark to ride outside. Weather-wise, you could ride outside pretty much year-round in San Antonio. I knew a perfect flat, long road to do intervals on (Castroville!!). I remember multiple arguments with my beautiful, well-meaning, now bestie of a coach who insisted that I do certain workouts on the trainer and lost her patience with me when I repeatedly refused.

Not only was it boring to ride on the trainer, but because it was boring, it felt impossible to hit the heart rate zones and watts that I was being instructed to aim for. Sometimes loud angry music would help but usually my trainer rides were an exercise in trying to maintain focus (which I suppose is also a skill) and counting the minutes until it was over.

So, for the last five years when everyone has talked about how great Zwift is, I've resisted, feeling superior: riding outside is always better than riding inside, only weenies ride indoors because of bad weather. My trainer was gathering dust in the closet and I intended to keep it that way. I resisted with the same stubbornness as when I refused to watch "Forrest Gump" because everyone said it was a really good movie. 

After a few indoor rides of his own this winter, Trent insisted that I would love Zwift and that I should try it. He enticed me with the idea that we could ride "together" even while we're living in different states. So when my friend bought a Peloton and sold her Wahoo Kickr Snap at a bargain price, I snapped (heh) it up. I brought it with me to Kansas City for the Christmas break so that Trent could help me set everything up and we could ride together in his basement.

Zwift! Where have you been all my life?

For a $15/month subscription, you have access to workouts that encourage you to hit certain watts/cadence/heartrate depending on what you're training for. The smart trainer adjusts the resistance for you, making it challenging and interesting. It does the same thing when you're not doing a set workout - it adjusts the resistance to make it feel like you really are riding up and down hills. It's amazing how much more interesting and therefore mentally easier it is to ride like this than on a "dumb" trainer. 

And just like that, the Felty is back on the trainer.

Then there's all the video game aspects that appeal to your brain's reward center - you level up, you earn new kits and helmets and socks. Your energy output is measured in number of pizza slices earned. It's fun!

The best part about Zwift for me is being able to ride "with" friends. I have a weekly date with two of my besties who live in two different cities in Texas; another friend from down the road also joins from time to time. I started my Zwift experience this year with Orissa and Linda on the Tour de Zwift, an event where you got to pick a different stage every week and ride with other people from all over the world. We discovered that these events often have a separate women's ride and we've learned that we prefer those. 

The Zwift folks seem really plugged into the cycling and triathlon communities - there's a Norseman challenge coming up next month and I can't wait! I'm writing this as I wait for today's event to start. Yes, I could bundle up and go ride outside today. But I signed up for the three-day Haute Route challenge and today is Stage 2 and I'm looking forward to it.

Well, "Forrest Gump" is now one of my favorite movies of all time. I admitted I was wrong then, and I'm admitting I was wrong now. Trent was right. I love riding on Zwift. And now I'm going to be relentless about getting all of my friends on Zwift too, so that we can all ride together. Ride on!

Fuck Politeness: Safety First

I met you through friends that I trust.

I was nice to you because I was brought up to be a friendly, kind person. 

At first, I took your offer of friendship at face value. You were nice.

You said things that made me feel uncomfortable. I was polite.

You put me in a situation that made me feel unsafe. I extracted myself from it using caution, making sure not to let you know that I thought anything was wrong.

I made excuses not to see you, especially not alone, anymore. I tried not to be rude.

I set boundaries. You pushed them, tested them, tried to cross them. Tried to make me take them back.

I distanced myself as much as possible without being outwardly rude. You kept contacting me.

I decided it was okay to be rude. I ignored your calls and texts. I unfriended you. I blocked you. You continued.

Now, I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid that you're going to come to my home and hurt me and kill me, because that's what happens. It's a pattern, it escalates: we have all learned this. All of us have learned this but we still give the you benefit of the doubt. Until we don't.

I'm afraid of you. Read that again: I'm afraid of you. That is not hyperbole. I am not being dramatic. I am afraid of you, whether you're actually dangerous or not.

Now, I'll think twice before I'm open and kind and friendly and nice to any man I don't know. Forever. 

I'm just a being nice guy, you think. She's misinterpreting my words and my actions, you think. I just wanted to be friends, you think. But I'm trusting my instinct on this one. Even one story about "the nice guy who snapped" is one too many. So as the podcast says, Fuck Politeness. Fuck politeness: safety first. Even at the risk of you thinking I'm not a nice person.

If you're reading this and wondering if you're the guy I'm talking about? Yes, you are. And if you're reading this and thinking that sucks for all the really nice, harmless, well-intentioned guys out there, like me? Yes, it does.

Green is always for Mary, who I didn't know well, but who inspired everyone she met. 💚