Monday, April 24, 2017

Love the Process

Monday has only one redeeming quality: it’s my rest day. Last Monday, I was so grateful to have a rest day that I almost said “I love Mondays” out loud. The previous week had been really frustrating, with notes like this in my workout log:

  • Wednesday: Gave up after 39 mins on the trainer feeling nauseated and sluggish.
  • Thursday: Masters. Lots of kick with fins and pulling with paddles today, which saved me because I couldn't keep up with the lane. Still very tired. 
  • Friday: I'm still feeling sluggish and crappy, and frustrated! 
  • Sunday (after my “easy run with friends” in San Antonio was far more difficult than expected): I thought it was supposed to be easier to run at sea level now. (sad face). 
I was filled with self-doubt. Maybe I’m getting too old for this. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to get up at 4:45 to go to the pool and then struggle to keep up with my lane at Masters. I don’t want to do a hard treadmill run after a long day at work. I just want to sleep. Why am I struggling on an easy trainer ride? Everything is hard. Nothing is easy. I’m getting slower, not faster! What’s the point? I’m terrible at this! I'm tired of being the slowest one here! What’s wrong with me?!
It wasn't an easy run, but it was so wonderful to run with Orissa, Linda, and Brian on one of my favorite old routes.
Social media didn’t help. I have a couple of friends who are struggling with burnout and have been quite vocal about it over the last few months. They've been in the sport for years, and suddenly they’re talking about how it’s not fun to race anymore, how they’re over it, how they need to figure out how to get the joy back. These people are usually the ones posting the most positive, inspirational, joy-filled pictures and updates about how they love training and the sport. If they’re burned out, I don’t have a chance.

Thank goodness for the well-timed comments of a couple of friends who didn’t even know they were positively influencing my frame of mind. This time, social media helped me out quite a bit: Thanks, Strava, Instagram, and Facebook!

Last Sunday, Whiting, who is also training for Boulder, posted a workout on Strava and commented “Only 6 more weeks til Ironman Boulder!” A lightbulb went off. OF COURSE! This is how you’re supposed to feel 6 weeks out from the race. Although I feel ridiculous for not recognizing it after years of doing this, and going through the same thing EVERY TIME, the realization brought such relief.

In the middle of last week, Ariana, who's training for St. George 70.3 on the way to Ironman Boulder just like I am, posted on Instagram about feeling the struggle between walking a line between working so hard that it will be impossible to recover and working so little that you'll be sluggish on race day. Her post was exactly what I needed to read: I’m not the only one struggling physically and mentally here.

I think Ariana's photo says it all.
And Coach Marilyn Chychota posted on Facebook exactly the reminder that I needed (I'm paraphrasing): there is no easy button for Ironman. It's just weeks and months and years of chipping away. You need to build a foundation, it's not glamorous, and to be successful, you have to love the process. YES.

Although my workouts this week were much improved from the week before, I’m still incredibly tired. But my state of mind is vastly improved. On a run this weekend with my new training buddy Julie, I talked about how tired I’ve been. She asked, “Isn’t Boulder in about 6 weeks? Yep. Makes sense that you’re tired now.” It’s funny that we can easily recognize these things in others, but it’s so hard to have perspective when you’re thinking about yourself.

Lessons Learned!

  • Understand what’s normal. Ironman training is hard, and in every cycle you (meaning me, but also the universal you) reach a point where you’re tired, sluggish, grouchy, fat, and lacking motivation. It will pass. 
  • Talk to your friends/training partners. Knowing that others are going through the same thing helps! It was so validating to read Ariana’s post last week, and to talk to Julie about it this weekend. 
  • Talk to your coach. This should probably be the first thing on the list, but not everyone has a coach. For those of you who do – tell them how you’re feeling. They can modify your workouts to help you through the rough patch. Emily will give me two workouts: the “I’m feeling better” workout, or the alternate “I’m feeling crappy” workout. She is sure to tell me to be honest with myself about how I’m actually feeling. 
  • Find inspiration. Get out your go-to music, choose a favorite route, invite a favorite training buddy…whatever it takes to get you motivated to make the workout happen! 
  • Get started. I learned this one from Dawn at a time when we were both struggling personally, and, like so many lessons, it works beyond the sport. Just get started. Get in the car and drive to the pool. Or get on the bike on the trainer. Or lace up your running shoes and walk outside. Say, “I’m just going to do the warmup and then I’ll see what happens.” Nine times out of 10, you’ll do the whole workout, and you’ll feel better physically and mentally afterward. And, that one time that you walked into the gym, got changed to swim, walked over to the pool, and turned around and walked right back out? Well, you probably needed the rest that day. :)

When Shelly and I first started running together years ago, our mantra was, “I can do anything for 5 minutes.” We’d keep on running, and 5 minutes would turn into 10 or 15. We used to joke that once we got into Ironman training, our go-to phrase became, “I can do anything for two hours.” I’ll modify it just slightly again and say: “I can do anything for six weeks.” The countdown to Boulder begins!

Joshua Tree has been my go-to inspiration for years, starting when I was 18 and
trying to lose the college "freshman 15." Mom took me to the gym with her each
morning that summer, and I walked on the treadmill listening to this cassette on a
yellow Sony Walkman. This music still works its magic today on the treadmill,
and I'm happy to report that I'm moving quite a bit faster than I was back then!

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Little Fish

It’s been just over two months since we moved to Denver, and I’m starting to settle in. I’m confident I won’t get lost driving to work in the morning (although if it’s snowing, I might still cry when I get there). I have a favorite running route and bike route. I know the times that the rec center pool is available for lap swimming. I even have new friends to do some of this stuff with! Although a comfort zone is developing, I’m still learning something new every day. The benefit is that when everything is new and different, it becomes easier to do things that scare you.

In San Antonio, I had great excuses for not swimming Masters. It costs extra to join. The gym that has a Masters program isn’t close to where I live. The times don’t work with my schedule. But mostly, I’m scared that it will be too hard. When we joined the local rec center here, I was excited and nervous to see that they have a Masters program. I talked with my coach and she encouraged me to go. Guess what – I loved it! During that first session on a Saturday morning, as my arms turned to noodles, I watched in awe as the guys in the fast lane raced by. Maybe I can be in that lane one day…

Every Thursday morning's "chance at greatness" happens here. 
A couple of months later, I’m hooked. I have Masters on the schedule once a week, and I look forward to it like nothing else. The competition and camaraderie in the pool are making me a better swimmer. The on-deck coaching is invaluable. For these reasons, I’m happy to be up before 5 on Thursday mornings to get in the pool.

Trent is eager to find every bike route in the Denver Metro area, and the best way to do that has been to join a cycling club! We are now proud, card-carrying members of the Rocky Mountain Cycling Club, a group of roadies who love to ride for hours up mountains. Each time I’ve ridden with them, I’m the weakest one in the group. But each time we ride, I feel myself getting stronger, and maybe they get ahead of me a little less each time. I have to work hard to keep up. My desire to stay with the group on weekend rides leads me to work just that much harder on trainer rides during the week. Pushing myself during those long weekend rides to try not to get dropped is helping me build mental toughness that I know will pay dividends on race day.

Our first ride with the RMCC.
Same story with running – on the one group run that Trent and I did, I was the last one to finish. But it was a great experience, and I'll be back again for the next one if they'll have me. Every time we run trails I face the fears of tripping, falling, walking, giving up. All of this is making me stronger.

This new experience has had its challenges. Of course there's the altitude: it's been a learning experience finding a new normal at 5280 feet. My heart rate is coming around, but sometimes when my legs just feel dead, I still can't tell if it's because of the altitude, because I'm tired, or because I didn't fuel right. It's frustrating. Nutrition and hydration have been a problem too - in cold weather, it's easy to put off drinking water. I keep choosing not to eat because it's hard to get to food in your pocket with thick gloves on. Then it's too late and you've dug yourself into a hole and ruined the ride or run. I'm learning every day.

Last weekend's group run - we'll definitely be back.
Although it can be discouraging to feel like I’m back at square one, to be in a place where everyone is better than me, it’s also a total recharge to be the Little Fish in a Big Sea. Remember what it was like when you were just getting started, to think, I just did that! I can do that! What else can I do? It’s motivating to feel like a newbie, to feel like the possibilities are endless.

This move was the shot in the arm that I needed when I was feeling a little bit stuck. If you’re like me, and you need an excuse to break the cycle of excuses, you don’t even have to move away from home. Just take a step or two outside of your comfort zone. Try swimming Masters. Ride with someone who’s faster than you. Run with a group that you don’t usually run with. Be the Little Fish. I promise it’s worth it.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Old Man Winter Rally Race Report 2017

Last winter when we bought our gravel bikes, Trent immediately started looking for races. He found one in Lyons, CO – the Old Man Winter Rally, sponsored by his favorite brewery, Oskar Blues. The event celebrates winter with a gravel ride, a trail run, and beer and chili at the post-race party. We talked about traveling for the race from Texas last February, but didn’t end up going. Now that we live in the area, of course our first race here in Colorado had to be the Old Man Winter Rally!

There are a few options at this race – a 100k gravel ride, a 50k gravel ride, a 5.8 mile trail run, or a combination of the 50k ride and the run. We opted for the run/ride combo.

We drove up to Lyons for packet pickup at 8:30, met up with our BSR teammate Brian, watched the 100k riders head out for their race, and then prepared for the run which started at 10:30. I had come dressed for 35 degree temperatures in pants, a long sleeve shirt, gloves, and a beanie, but it was sunny, and after a 10-minute warmup, I was already hot. I changed into my cycling shorts and ran in them because they were the only shorts I had! The run was an out-and-back course on a combination of asphalt, gravel, and dirt trails.

The Run 
I didn’t have any expectations for pace, because the last month and a half of training at altitude has not been about pace, it has been about keeping my heart rate where it needs to be. In one of my first runs here, I ran with a friend for 6 “easy” miles at a 9:30ish pace and my heart rate was in zone 4. After that run, Emily cautioned me to slow down, be patient, and work on keeping my heart rate in zone 2 for easy runs. Last week, I ran the same 6-mile route on an easy run. I kept my heart rate in zone 1 and 2, and ended up running at a 9:45ish pace. Progress. Patience was paying off!

For yesterday’s race, I ran at a “comfortably hard” tempo pace based on feel. When I glanced at my watch in the first half of the race, I saw that my heart rate was 165 (zone 4) and my pace was hovering just under 9 minutes/mile. I was okay with that, and aimed to hold the pace for the entire run. It wasn’t until the turnaround that I realized we’d been running uphill the whole way out. I watched my pace increase on the way back and aimed for negative splits. I was beyond excited to finish with a time that put my average pace at 8:04 (I think the course was short).

Trent did well too. Even stopping during the run to pick up a snowflake – there were Styrofoam snowflakes scattered throughout all the courses, that if you brought one back, you’d get a prize – Trent ended up running at an average 6:40 pace. So awesome! But we had no time to celebrate because we had to hurry and change and get our bikes out of the car and ready to ride.

Just a guy and his snowflake. Trent's prize was a water bottle and a baseball cap.
The Ride 
The ~31-mile short course ride was on a combination of asphalt, gravel, hard-packed dirt, and one mile of single-track soft dirt and sand in the middle of the ride. It was 40 degrees and sunny, and the ride was beautiful with rolling fields, horses that ran alongside our bikes on the other side of a fence, and a stunning view of a frosty snow capped mountain in the distance.

Photo by Ryan Muncy Photography; from the Old Man Winter Rally website.
Obstacle #1 - Fear
Since last year’s Castell Grind, where I fell multiple times in soft, wet sand, rode off course and got lost, I’ve been over-cautious on my gravel bike and I’m still afraid of wet, muddy conditions. To prepare for this event, we attended a clinic last week in Boulder in which we rode part of the course, including the single-track section. Last weekend it was muddy and I rode around the one-mile loop feeling scared, but staying upright. I spent the week hoping the nice warm weather would hold out, and I got lucky. It was supposed to rain and snow the night before the race, but it didn’t! Dry, perfect conditions for the short course ride, and I could not have been happier. I gained quite a bit of confidence on my bike this weekend.

Obstacle #2 – Nutrition/Hydration 
On my last few outdoor rides, including the clinic, I have felt great for the first hour or so, and then bonked badly. The problem was poor fueling – with thick gloves on, it’s hard to get to bars and other snacks in a jacket pocket, so I opted not to eat anything. It’s easier to get a bottle out to drink, but my bottles just had Gatorade and water, and that was not enough. I’d get dehydrated too, because when it’s cold, you don’t think to drink. But actually, you should drink more than normal at altitude to avoid dehydration. Back to the old standby, Infinit! My order came in just in time for the race; I filled two bottles with 250 wonderful grape-flavored calories each, and forced myself to drink both of them during the ride. It was PERFECT. I felt like my old self, and stayed strong throughout the 2-hour ride. At one point in the last 3 miles, I looked back and saw that I was pulling a string of 10 riders behind me. I felt so strong and happy.

The Post-Race Party
The post-race party in a cute little park in Lyons was great, with delicious beer and chili as promised, wonderful warming coffee and Clif products, and a cool awards presentation where the podium folks sprayed beer rather than champagne. We ended up walking over to Oskar Blues afterward to get some food (and more beer), and then headed home by way of Voodoo Donuts (yes, these donuts have officially become a problem).

It felt really good to race again! I’m motivated in a way that I haven’t been for a while. Just seeing the caliber of athletes around us and the strength it will take to try to keep up with them gives me mental fuel for those solo weekday trainer rides. I’m looking forward to the season! Hopefully Old Man Winter doesn’t get in the way too much.

Fun with friends Whiting and Ariana at the post-race party.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Chasing Dreams to Colorado

A couple of years ago, I gave a speech in which I challenged 300 of my friends and coworkers to ask "why not?" and to move forward and live their dreams. Since that day, I've felt like I needed to keep that momentum going in my own life, to continuously push forward and challenge myself, whether it was taking a new position at work or setting big goals in triathlon. When you start to challenge yourself that way all the time, it's really interesting where that kind of mindset will take you.

Last September, Trent and I took a weekend trip to Keystone, Colorado, to ride our bikes up some mountains. Before the plane to Denver had left the ground, we were talking about how awesome it would be to live in Colorado. How cool would it be to train in the beautiful mountains all the time? By the time we arrived back in San Antonio three days later, we had a plan for making it happen.

In mid-September we started sending resumes to Colorado to see where one might stick. We were driving home from Ironman Louisville a month later when we got the first exciting email, "please call to schedule a phone interview." A month after that, while Trent was out for a training ride in Phoenix two days before Ironman Arizona, I received the magical phone call with an offer for a position at a great company here in Denver.

I don't think it's a coincidence that these big things happened around Ironman events. The Ironman motto is "anything is possible." After you've cross an Ironman finish line, you start to believe it. To get to that line, you have to have strength of body and mind. You put in the training and hard work towards a goal. On race day, you push through pain and doubt to accomplish something that feels huge and meaningful, and you understand that you made it possible through will and dedication. Like so many others, Ironman's great gift to me is that I started believing that I can do whatever I put my mind to. The events of the past few months are more proof to me that this is true.

Things started moving fast after Ironman Arizona. We had to get ready to move, sell the house, give notice at work. It was hard to leave a company where I've worked for almost 10 years and made so many friends. It was hard to leave San Antonio, where I've lived for 20+ years since college; hard to leave friends and family behind, even though I know we'll be back to visit. I cried in my car driving past Kerrville on I-10, looking towards my parents' house and at landmarks and roads where Shelly and I began our triathlon days.

Then of course, I started looking forward, and although we've only been here one month, what a month it has been! We had a fairytale white Christmas in Winter Park with Trent's boys, we've ridden our bikes through Red Rocks, gone running on snowy trails only minutes from our front door, been downhill skiing, snowshoeing, and ice skating. I'm looking forward to so many adventures to come!

Christmas in Winter Park
Trent has always dreamed of living here in Colorado. For me, it wasn't just, "I need to be in the mountains." I don't think I would have been able to move somewhere that I didn't have a personal connection, and it just happens that I have so many wonderful ones here. Whiting, my amazing swimmy friend that I met at a triathlon camp 2 years ago, and have kept in touch with. Naomi, my bff from high school, who moved here with her husband years ago. And of course, the heart of our triathlon team, Big Sexy Racing - Erika and Chris McDonald live just down the road in Boulder, and so do several of our awesome teammates. The world seems smaller and smaller when you realize how many people you're connected to, near and far.

Back in a swim lane together again with Whiting and some new friends!
Naomi and I picked up right where we left off over 20 years ago in high school in Lafayette, LA.
There is a saying, "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." I'm so grateful that I've learned the lesson that it's never too late to do the things you want to do, to live the life you want to live. You can allow yourself to get stuck in the every day; you can make excuses, or you can make a decision to do something. Whatever it is, choose it, and then jump in with both feet and see what happens. Plant your tree.

As always, I'm honored that you're reading this. Thank you for your encouragement and well wishes, and I wish the best to you as well, my amazing friends and family. Happy New Year!

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Ironman Louisville Race Report 2016: Lucky #7

This time last year, I was happily registered for Vineman 2016 and had talked Trent into doing the same. When I won the Norseman lottery last November, plans had to change: Vineman is held a week before Norseman, so it would be impossible to do both races. For the second year in a row I found myself taking advantage of the WTC race transfer program. Ironman Louisville, held 2 months after Norseman, made the most sense, so last Thursday, Trent and I loaded up the car and made the 16-hour drive to Kentucky to race.

Note: Having done both, I can confidently say that I would rather spend 16 hours completing an ironman than sitting in a car for the same amount of time. Then, I realized that's exactly what my Norseman crew did during my race two months ago, and I'm filled with additional love and appreciation for the effort and discomfort that that took. Ouch.

Lucky #7
At dinner one night, Trent and I sat next to a mother and daughter who were also there for the race. As we chatted, I was asked if this was my first ironman, and I replied that it was my 7th. The response was "Oh my god, that's crazy. Two or three I could understand, but SEVEN!? Why do you keep doing it?"

The answer is simple: because I can. Sometimes when you're tired from all the training, or you're suffering during a race, you can forget to be grateful for the ability to do these things. We are lucky to be able to do what we do: swim, bike, run, train, race.

I've had the opportunity for 7 attempts at this distance, from the first one (DNF after bike crash at Arizona), and then 5 subsequent races (Texas, Norseman, Texas, Tahoe, and Norseman), and now Louisville. Each race was a unique experience; each one taught me lessons that extended beyond the sport and allowed me to grow as an athlete and as a human being. This is why I love what I do.

Two months ago, for the first time, I considered that there might be a finite number of ironman races in my future. At Norseman, the pain in my back both during and after the race scared me into wondering how many more of these I have in me. It took a few weeks to recover, and my confidence was shaken. I did what I could in the time I had to build some core strength and prepare for Louisville. But I had no idea how race day would go. I knew I'd be grateful to finish smiling and (relatively) pain-free.

My race goals for Louisville were to focus on the process and smile. Specifically: swim strong and steady and find fast feet. Waste no time in transition. Bike within your ability. Run the whole marathon, and stay mentally tough (nobody else will know if you gave up, but you'll know). I've written a lot here about smiling and being positive and enjoying the process. Although these things have been easy to learn, they're also easy to forget.

Race Day
This race has a unique time trial start. 2500 participants get into a single-file line and then jump in one after another to start the swim. Trent has raced here before, so he knew that it was important to line up early for the swim to avoid crowds on the bike course later in the day. We drove to transition to be there when it opened (5:15) and found a huge line of people waiting to get in. Once we were in, we put air in our tires, loaded our drink bottles onto our bikes, and hurried to the swim start, a mile away.

We got pretty close to the front of the line and settled in with a couple of our Big Sexy Racing teammates to wait an hour and a half for the race to start. At 7:00 the line started moving forward, and at 7:30 the race started. Trent had gone off in search for a replacement for a lost swim cap, and at 7:39 when I approached the start line, he hadn't returned. I didn't know if he was ahead of me or behind me, but I jumped off the pier and settled into my own race. It took until at least 8:10 to get all the athletes in the water, so hurrying to the swim start had been a smart move.

Swim start in perfect temps: 50 degrees outside and 72 degrees in the river.
It's easy to sight using landmarks in the Ohio River. First you travel upstream for .8 of a mile, around an island, and then back down, past the swim start, under 2 bridges to transition. The water was 72 degrees and I felt strong and powerful swimming in my fullsleeve wetsuit, something I'd been nervous about after a bad swim at Norseman. I ran out of the water with a 2-minute swim PR: 1:08. Yippee!

After a long run out of transition with our bikes, we were out onto the gorgeous bike course. You ride out of town along River Road, then start the first of two hilly loops. When I say hilly, I mean that rolling hills come relentlessly at you for two loops, from mile 15 until mile 90, when you begin the return back into town. You ride past countless green fields and barns and horses, and twice through the town of La Grange where it seems like the entire community has come out to cheer. There are more spectators on this bike course than any I've experienced except maybe Mont Tremblant, and they're screaming at you Tour de France style, urging you to get up each hill. It's awesome.

People have said that we don't have hills like these to train on here in San Antonio, and I agree. They're not the short, steep climbs of Amman Road or Boerne. You can't settle into spinning up these like you might in Vanderpool, because they're not long enough for that. They're just long enough that you don't have momentum to get up and over the next one, so there's lots of shifting and difficulty finding a rhythm.

I made errors with nutrition that I tried to make up for, but I ended up taking in less fuel than I needed. I was happy with a 6:16 for the bike split because although it's not my fastest ironman time, it's my strongest yet. I held exactly the watts and heart rate that I wanted - trusting the process was working!

I never saw Trent on the bike. I always expect to swim faster than him, and then I wait to see how far I can get before he passes me. But we didn't start together and I didn't know where he was. My thought process on the bike went like this: "Maybe he started first and swam faster than me. He's probably winning the race! Or, maybe he had trouble on the swim and never made it to the bike, but surely they would have found me as his emergency contact...?" I saw one of our teammates spectating as I ran out of transition to the run course, and while Matt was yelling "Way to go Kris!" I was begging him to tell me if he'd seen Trent. "Yes," he replied, looking confused, as if Trent had gone by hours ago. I felt relieved and happy to focus on my run.

The run is where I gave up at Norseman. On the Louisville run, more than anything, I wanted to be strong, both physically and mentally, and not give up when I got tired. The run course heads up into town from the river, two loops, pretty much pancake flat, out and back. You run right past the finish line on your way out for the second loop. Today, it was a perfect 70 degrees with plenty of shade to run through.

Relentless smiling. It works!
I might have looked like a crazy person smiling so much on my way out on the first loop. Seeing Trent running by the other way and stopping for a quick kiss (swoon) got my legs moving a little faster for a while. I got interviewed by a videographer on a motorcycle, made a few new friends, cheered for my Big Sexy teammates and generally enjoyed myself for the first 13 miles. Although I wasn't running as fast as I'd like to, I was keeping a steady pace, around 10:20 min/mile. It gets dark earlier in Kentucky, and as the sun went down, I started taking advantage of the chicken broth served at every aid station. It was delicious and welcome after all the sweet snacks earlier in the day.

With 6 miles left on my way back in on the second loop, I knew I could get a new PR if I hustled. But each aid station allowed me to walk a little bit more, and I had to reset myself a few times and remind myself to keep running. Emily had told me that if I was "in a race" at mile 24, then I needed to "race," but otherwise to stay steady and take care of myself. This instruction was what I needed. By mile 24, I was in a race with myself. I ran as fast as I could to the finish line, bypassing aid stations and running around everyone in front of me.

Finally, I saw the lights and heard the crowds of the most energetic finish line I have ever crossed. I ran up to the line through what seemed like the longest finisher's chute I've ever been in, with crowds cheering on both sides, and was rewarded with a couple of new personal best times: 4:37 for the marathon, and 12:15 for the entire day. An ironman distance PR by about 4 minutes, and a day that I spent smiling and feeling grateful. Goals met...time to celebrate!

World's loudest finish line led by the world's greatest BSR cheering squad!
Big Sexy Racing
I've been a part of the Big Sexy Racing team for a year, and it's been a great experience. I've met, trained, and raced with some awesome teammates here in Texas, and our team is in daily communication on a Facebook page, encouraging each other, sharing advice and training tips, and generally being a fun and entertaining triathlon support system for 200+ like-minded people.

Louisville is a special race for our team. Chris "Big Sexy" McDonald, our team's fearless leader, has won the professional race here 4 times: the last time in 2014 was the most inspiring sprint-to-the-finish victory that I've ever seen at an ironman. We had 25 teammates racing this weekend, and several others who had come in to cheer and support. Hands down, my favorite part of this race was sharing it with the folks on my team. To race with teammates makes it fun, and to hear countless people yelling "Go Big Sexy!" and "Stay Sexy!" gives that extra boost of energy that you need, especially in the last 6 miles of the marathon.

Big Sexies everywhere, and so many spectators! Here's Trent running in with one of our teammates.
We met so many great people from our team from all over the country at a team barbecue on Friday night hosted by awesome teammates Hannah and Bryan who live in Louisville. And after the race, many of us came back for the midnight finish to cheer in the final finishers. It was an amazing, uplifting experience that made me proud to be a member of this team. Go Big Sexy!

Thank You, 2016
It's been a really different kind of year for me with changes in my personal life and career taking some priority over triathlon training. I'm grateful to still be chipping away at my triathlon goals while being distracted (in a good way) by life. Since my season is over for the year, I want to take the opportunity to say thank you to everyone who has given me so much love and support: my friends who let me go on and on about this sport that I love; Mom and Dad who helped me get to Norseman one more time; Trent, who always encourages me to be my best; Emily, my coach, who has helped me adapt to the changes in life and worked to fit my triathlon goals in - thank you! To Matt, Greg, and the guys at Bicycle Heaven, thank you for keeping the Slicey in good order year after year. To the Big Sexy Racing team and all our sponsors, in particular, Blueseventy, Cobb Cycling, and Newton Running, thank you for the support and inspiration. As always, thank you for reading. Here's to a great off season and a fabulous 2017!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Kerrville Tri Race Report 2016: Choosing the Right Goals

Goals can be a dangerous thing. A quote that I read years ago from motivational speaker Harvey MacKay has stayed with me: “A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.” At the time, it was the call to action that I needed. What’s the point in just sitting around dreaming about something you want? Get out there and work towards it!

The problem is that there are some things you can’t set goals for. Like black t-shirts. Six weeks ago, after I realized that I wouldn’t reach the goal of a mountaintop finish in Norway, I stopped smiling. I gave up. This resulted in a slow, miserable marathon experience on one of the most beautiful courses in the world.

At Norseman, I had set a goal that I wasn't in control of. Other factors were at play, like the weather conditions and the talent of the other athletes who showed up that day. It took me a while to understand what Emily was talking about when she told me to focus on process rather than results. She asked me my goals for Louisville, and I gave her numbers. Emily said instead to focus on process - what can I work on that didn't go well at previous races? She was asking me to set attainable goals and not random numbers.

I figured out last week what the goal would be for Louisville. Smile no matter what. Always find a way to enjoy the experience. After all, this is supposed to be fun! That can be easier said than done, and it takes practice. The Kerrville tri this weekend would be my chance to practice smiling all day before being tested again at Ironman Louisville.

I had two goals for the Olympic-ish distance race (1000 meter swim, 29 mile bike, 6.4 mile run). I wanted to gain some confidence by having a good swim in a wetsuit at a race, and I wanted to keep smiling and pushing forward no matter what.

But...for the first time in 5 years, the race in Kerrville was not wetsuit legal. Goal number one went out the window. Luckily, goal number two was to keep smiling and pushing forward no matter what. Take what the day throws at you: today would not be my day to build confidence in a wetsuit, but it could still be a day to have a great swim.

When the race started, I was in such a hurry to get in the water and begin swimming that I forgot to start my watch. Whoops! This mistake turned out to be a blessing. I swam strong and felt powerful in the water. When I ran out of the river, I didn’t have to analyze my swim time: I had only my feelings to go by. And it felt like a great swim. There's some built-in swim amnesia for you: just don’t start your watch! This is a technique I’ll take with me to Kentucky.

That's the smile of someone who forgot to start her watch.
At this race, my age group was in the unique position of starting in the first wave with a time trial start: athletes started one at a time with 3-5 seconds between them. I started maybe 6th in my age group. Being a strong swimmer and a reasonably strong cyclist, I spent the first 55 minutes of the bike race riding alone. I was passing competitors from the half-ironman race that had started earlier in the morning, but nobody was passing me. It was surreal. I made a game of it: how far could I get before people from the Olympic distance race caught and passed me?

It started to rain 20 minutes into the bike. At one point it rained so hard I thought it was hailing.
Trent’s wave started 12 minutes behind mine. When races start this way, I love to see how far I can get on the bike before he catches me. This time, we discussed beforehand that due to the short distance of the race, he might not catch me until the run. I wanted to see if I could make that happen. Approaching T2, I still hadn't seen him.

I flew into T2 and found an open field full of run bags: only a couple of bikes were there ahead of me. I took off running and vowed to hold a smile and a strong pace. The course was out and back – 3 miles out, 3 miles back, then another little out-and-back in the opposite direction before the finish. I started the run by myself, and as the miles went by, people started to pass me. And - at every aid station I passed, the volunteers complimented my smile. After I turned around and headed back, around mile 4, I saw Trent for the first time; we high-fived and he warned me not to let him catch me. This put extra pep in my step and although I was fading, I ran as fast as I could, still smiling. Having fun. Yippee!

I reached the finish line a couple of minutes before Trent. As our friends started to pour across the line, we all celebrated, taking photos and telling stories about the day. Mom and Dad were there, along with several Big Sexy teammates who were racing the half, and nearly all of our triathlete friends from San Antonio. It was so much fun to be surrounded by friends after the race. It made me remember what fun it is to race locally, and I think there will be more shorter local races on my calendar next year.

What a fantastic day. I had a great race and earned 3rd place in my age group. Perhaps when you focus on process, the results take care of themselves. I know it’s easy to keep smiling and moving forward when things are going well. It’s something else when you have to struggle. But, if you practice being positive when you’re feeling good, hopefully it will translate and help you through a day that isn’t going as planned. I’ll be smiling at Louisville no matter what. Less than two weeks to go!

After the race, we got caught in a ridiculous storm with flash floods. The half ironman participants were still running in this weather.
Another thing that made my day - this guy picked a flower and gave it to me before the swim. I carried it with me during the race and I swear it gave me superpowers.
The beautiful San Antonio Smash girls.
Big Sexy Racing - "We're the shit." So much fun racing with teammates!

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Don't Quit

Three weeks to Ironman Louisville.

I didn't set myself up for a successful long run today. With two endurance athletes in the house and an every-other-weekend visitation schedule with Trent's boys, our Sundays have become a long-run juggling act. Today, I agreed to run later in the morning and Trent went early. This means that when I started my run at 9:45 am, it was already 85 degrees outside and the sun was beating down without a cloud in the sky. Not to mention I'm tired from a cold that keeps lingering enough to make me nervous, a long week at work, a tough bike/run yesterday, and a little too much wine last night. Ok, there's all the excuses.

I drove to one of my favorite trailheads on the Salado Creek Greenway at Tobin Park. The workout was to run easy for 30 minutes, push it up to zone 2-2.5 for an hour, and then to run easy for the last 30 minutes.

The first half hour was fine. It was shady and breezy as I ran slowly down the greenway, shaking out a tight left calf/ankle. Then I ran into the full sun up the hill on the way to McAllister Park. A cyclist came by me, "it sure is hot out here." I thought, yep, it's hot. I'm not going to make it out here in the full sun for two hours.

After 45 minutes, I decided to turn around and head back to the car. An hour and a half would be fine. I had already run some extra miles this week. No big deal. My heart rate was in zone 2 without even trying due to the heat. I felt the sweat dripping down my face, thought I'd probably run out of water before I got back. Decided that my head was likely getting sunburned. All these great reasons to just cut it short today.

As I ran back towards the start, I started thinking about a conversation that Dawn and I had yesterday. I know I haven't been training with the heart and dedication that I need to accomplish the goals that I have in mind. Cut one workout short here, relax on the efforts a little bit there...and you end up not progressing, feeling stagnant instead.

That's how I've been feeling since Norseman - stuck. I gave up on the run at Norseman because I wasn't going to reach my goal of a black shirt. I was feeling pain, but I've felt pain on the run at every ironman and I have been able to push through it with a smile. I Gave Up at Norseman, and it doesn't feel good.

Giving up during training just allows you to give up more easily on race day. I've been stronger than that before. I can do it again.

Running back into the shade, I made a decision to run up to one of the trailheads and grab some more water, just in case I didn't give up. A mile later, I took my third Gu, just in case I decided to run past my car. One mile later, I ran purposely past my car thinking, "F you car, I have a run to finish."

Every step you take after choosing not to quit is a victory.

I'm not always super stoked about how I'm feeling in my Newtons, but man, I love these shoes.
I felt so good, so proud of myself for every minute that I ran in the opposite direction from my car. A slow run, but I was so happy to be finishing what I started that it didn't matter how slow I was running. Eventually I reached my turnaround point, and then I smiled all the way back to the car. Two-hour long run complete...11 slow little miles. It felt like racing - smiling through discomfort. I've missed that feeling.

I'm not sure what's going to happen in 3 weeks at Ironman Louisville. But I know that today's workout was a mental breakthrough that will allow me to endure on the run in Kentucky. I can't wait.

Today's run may have been a struggle, but yesterday's ride with Linda was awesome!